Imprean Official News Service

[Alejandro Alem]

This thread is the official news thread of the Unity Federal Imperial Republic’s Empire - a 100% open and honest account of the great advances made by the Imperial Republic on an on-going basis.

Domestic:

In a great and overwhelming coup d’etat, Alejandro Alem, Defender of Mankind and World Leader, displaced the tyrant Isabella as leader of our Great Nation. Ms. Isabella Direction’s once wise rule had become corrupted and, refusing to recognise that the nation could no longer be regarded as Spanish alone, the Home City of our Nation lapsed into stagnation – like any Castillian Empire is prone to do.
Organising a peaceful transition of power, Alejandro Alem seized power and personally oversaw the reeducation(*) of any of Isabella’s few remaining supporters.

Isabella herself – who will now be referred to simply as Ms. Direction - has reverted to her previous role as a bureaucrat and negotiator within the Department of Foreign Affairs.

Our nation, now properly called The Unity Federal Imperial Republic, it’s happy, healthy people now dubbing themselves Imprean, has begun to look outward, to expand and bring the benevolent light of the Imprean way to others – by whatever means necessary.

Foreign:

Our brave warriors, having completed the ‘liberation’ of certain surrounding towns continue to send back news of the happy welcome they receive from the unorganised savages. Our coffers swell with tithe and tribute that surely no other nation can boast of.

In other news, our glorious leader, Alejandro Alem, has extended his ‘concerns’ to Priam of the Atlantean Hordes over their continued mistreatment of native settlements in unclaimed lands.

‘We can’t forever turn a blind eye to wanton destruction. Small nations are prone to such aggressive moments, so we allow grace. Truthfully, we don't know what internal problems Atlantis is having that causes them to lash out. Perhaps the Atlantean Milk Tiger wasn't the solution to their woes they were hoping for.

We’d just remind Priam, the Speaker of Atlantis, that we are watching very, very closely.'


Our next report will no doubt give more shocking insight into the activities of other nations. Til next time, this is the Imprean Official News Service – first in the (game)World, signing off

(*)imprisionment and systematic torture not discounted as effective means of reeducation

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

Wiping a tear from his eye, a spokesperson for the Ministry of Statistics, MiniStat, today announced that the glorious Unity Federal Imperial Republic has the longest living peoples in both the known and unknown worlds.

”At 91 years of age, our oldest Imprean Citizens are more than 10 years older than our earliest records. It is a sign of a great and benevolent leadership that makes the people so hearty, healthy and happy. Long Live the Great Imprean People!”


Foreign:

Our great armies continue their relentless march forward, mapping out the territories that surround our Great Home City, continually reporting great wonders and finds. We wait with excitement for their next report as they pass the South Imprean Mountain range.

Keep an eye on this thread for further insights into the Imprean World. Good night, and do sleep tight!

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

Peace continues to reign in the Home City, with the benevolence of Alejandro Alem plain for all to see. The people have rejoiced as Alejandro – the unwavering light of the known world has formalised much of the bureaucracy of the State, including tax collection.

Upon hearing of the formation of the Revenue Commissioners, one citizen said with a tear in his eye:

”Life will never be the same again.”

Once he leaves the reeducation camp, we will catch up with him again to see just how joyous a change he has witnessed.


Foreign:

Speaking to the assembled masses of local militia and warriors, Alejandro Alem , Supreme Bureaucrat and Leader of the Nation, gave a stark warning, not only to the leaders of other nations, but to the ever-vigilent Imprean Peoples as well.
Based on intelligence I have received from the Bureau of Special Planning, we note with alarm the build-up of Weaponised Gold Discs undertaken by other nations, not least the much rumoured Spandexian Axis. We cannot let this currency trend continue. It is not some remote problem we can ignore. Whatever reason these heathens have for maintaining such large stockpiles of currency is irrelevant. Our Inspectors must have access, must take samples and must ensure that all stockpiles of WGDs held by other nations are disposed of in a way that the Imprean peoples agree with.

Without wishing to editorialise, we for one are glad to have a leader like Alejandro Alem to defend our stalwart people against the probable aggression of other nations – which would certainly be in keeping with what we’ve come to expect from them.

Long live the Imperial Republic!!!

[Spandex]

Our Weaponised Gold Discs are merely for defensive purposes only. We do not wish to alarm our neighbours, especially those who may choose to bow down bFORE THE MIGHT OF THE SPANDEXIAN EMPIRE!!

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

All is quiet in the Home City as our expectant citizens enjoy the fruits of continued expansion. Our army’s ranks swell and our citizens reap the benefits of ever improving technology.


Foreign:

As our Home City continues it’s march towards progress, our armies posted overseas continue both their campaigns of exploration and ’liberation’ of savage native tribes. Our doctrine will be spread, and we will continuously monitor our stockpiles of WGDs in relation to others. There is no WGD gap and our economy remains the envy of all!


For the security of the Imprean Home City!

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

A new craze has hit the comedy scene on the left bank recently – imported headgear from Atlantis. Spurred on by several lampshade-related fashion mishaps, Atlantean tailors have created a unique style of clothing, a cross between utility chic and tribal costume, called Atlantean-chic. Comedy clubs have been packed as people lined up to view hastily arranged fashion shows which, before now, would rarely have been seen outside of the Fashion District's resplendent gold boutiques.

Atlantean tailors can take heart, however, that those regular boutiques and clothing shops that consented to stock the items have completely sold out, with the only supply of Atlantean-chic goods left in novelty and costume shops.

Foreign:
The Department of Foreign Affairs, under the direct guidance of Mini-Pax, has today lifted travel restrictions from the Citizenry of Universe City.

"…and henceforth all subjects, citizens, denizens and others may freely apply for an exit visa from the newly established Department Offices on the right bank."

However, caution was urged in choosing the destination for Winter Breaks.

People might be shocked when visiting foreign cities at the poverty they may encounter. Some foreign regimes have embarked on massive military build-ups, others are spendthrift on public projects regardless of their uses and yet others would try to heinously use legitimate foreign visitors as tools to start a diplomatic incident or worse.

The first caravan for Berlin leaves the city with sightseers next week – though Mini-Pax has warned it is co-ordinating an audit on the possible build-up of WGDs within Germanic Borders.

Happy bicentenary, Universe City!!!

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

Citizens of the Home City – Universe City, one of the top 5 cities in the World – rejoiced today as the Bureau of Enterprise and Employment, under the direct guidance of Mini-Supp, temporarily diverted all surplus food production towards industrial production.

"If it means our nation can get a growth spurt, then I’m willing to curtail my procreation for the moment"

Consistently number 1 in the world for food production, the contribution to industry should be immense.

Foreign:

Having acquired so much new territory and with our ever expanding boarders and population, the Department of Foreign Affairs(DFA) in co-ordination with the Defence Bureau(BdD), has announced it’s intention to at least double the size of our armies abroad in the very near future.

This is not an arms race with any other nation, this is not an exercise in ego. This is about securing a future for our peoples. If we have to make sacrifices now to reap the rewards of peace later, then so be it.

Spurred on by the leaders words, Mini-Pax – which maintains direct oversight on both the DFA and the BdD – is believed to have come to an arrangement with Mini-Supp, the Ministry of Supply, Weights and Measures, to divert all industrial production temporarily to military projects.

The move has been largely welcomed by the peace loving people of the nation.

For a securer future...For an Imprean Future!

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

The Department of Agriculture, Food and Population today announced that Mini-Supp has engineered huge food surpluses greater than those previously known. Henceforth, rationing has been revoked and a free market has been reinstated in the food market.

Expected benefits to the consumer include greater variety of food at better prices. Mini-Supp announced that they expect tax revenues and population growth to excel all previous records.

Foreign:

Yet another band of brave soldiers have headed out into the untamed wilderness, bringing our law, our civility to those they meet. Joining the 1st Foreign Legion, this 2nd Division intends to take an entirely different course into the great unknown, always keeping an eye out for restless tribes, WGDs and assorted ne’er-do-wells.

Long live the Unwavering Light of the Known World!

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

Under suspicions of allegiance to foreign powers, Mini-Scure, the Ministry responsible for the co-ordination of internal security with the Imprean Realms, has arrested and imprisoned the leaders of the Animal Rights Welfare group. A Mini-Scure representative told one of our reporters that this was the culmination of months of planning and investigation into subversion within the Empire.

Teachers at the Re-education Camps are already gearing up to deal with the rehabilitation of these individuals, and citizens are reminded that power shortages are to be expected whilst re-education is taking place.

Foreign:

Amid rumblings of war in foreign lands, the glorious 2nd Division has struck a blow to the hopes of all potential aggressors against the Great Federal Imperial Republic. Whilst on expedition, the brave soldiers of the Division were set upon by an Atlantean Cow. These fearsome beasts can easily rip apart a grown man and truly deserve the title ‘King of the Jungle’. However, without batting an eyelid, the brave soldiers smote the fearsome beast, returning peace to the entire surrounds.

A minor protest regarding the slaying of the animal and supposed animal cruelty was struck down brutally and permanently in front of Parliament Building today.

The pelts of the Cow will go to auction tomorrow in Reichsplatzstrasse Market.

Remember: Vigilance and Security lead to Freedom

[Alejandro Alem]

Domestic:

The expansion project backed by industry leaders is set once again for imminent continuance. It had previously been put on hold as Mini-Pax decided to guarantee the integrity of the borders of the Home City by directing the creation of a Third Division to supplement our home armies.

Now, in conjunction with a commitment to increase military spending, the BdD (Defence Bureau) has taken control of the garrison of the Home City and returned control of City production to elements of expansion.

Foreign:

After liberating a local village, our glorious 2nd Division now stands face to face with their counterparts from the Great Spandexian Empire. We wait with bated breath to see how the tense stand-off resolves itself.

Meanwhile, our Brave men of the 1st Warrior Unit approach Spandexian territory on their peaceful mission of exploration. We hope they are welcomed in the same spirit as we have welcomed their troops.


Victory to the Imprean Armed Forces!